How to Hold Your Shadow Self in Love
How do you talk to yourself?
Is there a voice in your head that says you're not good enough?
Do negative thoughts and reactions control your outlook?
One of my students shared with me a practice he's adopted that I'd like to pass on to you.
And for your reference, he calls his negative self talk his shadow selves.
Here's what he shared:
"My first reaction to hearing the voices of my shadow selves is to denounce them or to reason with them, or to 'change their mind.'
But I've found that trying to change them just pushes them back into the darkness (and makes them stronger, so this is what I say):
'I'm sorry for the times I've ridiculed you, or argued with you or tried to change you. I'm not surprised you'd want to hide from me.'
And listening to the voices of my shadow selves is terrifying at first.
I'm afraid that if I listen to the anger or the sorrow or the judge I'll become angry or sad or judgmental.
But I've found I need not become the thoughts, I need only acknowledge and love them.
'I hear you're sad. You have every right to be. I hear you. What do you need from me?'
Sometimes I simply wrap my arms around myself, rock back and forth, and pat myself on the back.
'There there. I'm here for you. Thanks for being here. Thanks for being you. I love you.'
I try to listen to all parts of myself and love them, even if I don't agree with them.
And it kind of blows my mind how having nonjudgmental conversations with myself helps me love all parts of myself and simultaneously be less judgmental of others."
I learned from him that having an open minded, curious conversation with your inner critic can shift everything, can change the story, reframe the narrative, reveal the truth.
This is why I created RAWRR.
It's so important to
Recognize the stories you tell yourself
Allow yourself to feel what comes up for you with those stories
Witness the many ways those stories deeply affect your life
Release their hold on you and,
Reframe them to support you in growth, compassion, tenderness & your own personal, authentic truth, so you can reclaim your life.
You start with my student's practice.
You begin by inviting an intimate conversation with your negative self talk, by listening to what your shadow self is saying and responding with,
"I hear you. Why are you telling me this? What is it you want me to know?"
This is similar to BRFWA, or Breathe, Relax, Feel, Watch, Allow, that I learned at Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health, and shared with you last week in my 10 minute video, Sacred Self Care: Come Home to Yourself.
This week I'd like to guide you through a Holding Your Shadow Self in Love 12 minute meditation, a free training to help you with the number one self care obstacle, negative self talk, that was revealed through my quiz/questionnaire, Discover Your 3 Biggest Self Care Obstacles.
Hands down, over and over, and far and away, negative self talk came up as your biggest challenge.
I hope this helps...
xo & Namaste,